Five Times Jim Got Drunk and One Time Spock Did
by Vx21
Summary: Five instances in which Jim get very drunk and the one time Spock does too.


Disclaimer: I don't own Star Trek, Jim, or Spock … I only wish I did

**1.**

It was just another normal day at the Academy. Wake up, go to his classes, lunch, watch Jim do stupid things with no regard to his advice or his wellbeing in general, and after his tiring day, Leonard McCoy finally had time to himself. Time that he was planning on using to its fullest. Time to sleep! But of course the universe, was determined to make his life that much harder; why else would they have sent Jim his way?

"Dammit, Jim! Do you have any idea what time it is?"

"Arg … not so loud Bones" Kirk whispered, wincing at the sound of his own voice. Grumbling at the stupidity of his (unfortunately) best friend, McCoy shuffled out of bed. Finding his medkit he pulled out a loaded hypo and aimed at his favorite spot on Jims' neck. He found a small bit of satisfaction in the hissing sound and watching Jim recoil as the hypo forced medicine into his bloodstream.

"How much did you drink this time?" he asked.

"Not _that_ much. Just a Cardassian Sunrise or two … or six," Jim mumbled as he plopped himself down on the bed, immediately regretting it as his head spun and his nausea began to rise again.

"I told you Jim, there ain't anyone whose beat that goddamn test and there's no point in trying. The Kobayashi Maru is impossible to beat!"

"Thanks for the advice Bones, but you know I don't believe in no-win situations. Night!"

As he walked out of his room and down the corridor McCoy could already tell that Jim was coming up with another one of his stupid ideas.

**2. **

It was the party of the century. Not only was Earth saved thanks to the quick thinking and simply amazing actions of one James T. Kirk, but aforementioned awesome Starfleet cadet was now the captain of the Federation flagship. It would be foolish not to drink in such an occasion. And so that left Jim totally and utterly pissed.

"Captain, I do believe that any additional consumption of alcoholic substances would impede your basic motor functions."

"Lighten up Spock!" Jim took another sip of what was probably his third blueish- purply pink drink … of some kind. "It's not everyday you get to celebrate saving the world. Lemmi have a little fun"

"Although I concede that such is an occasion of celebration, I still would strongly suggest you refrain from imbibing any additional alcoholic substance before you commit an act that is unbefitting of your newfound rank" Spock replied, hands folded behind his back, standing as straight as a pin.

"Why Spock, I never knew you cared so much. How about this, one more drink and I promise I'll let you do your freaky Vulcan pinch thing if I start to strip on the table or something else that would be unbefitting of my rank" Jim said grinning back the Vulcan.

"Seeing as you are an exceptionally stubborn individual, I will accept the terms of your compromise"

"I knew you'd see it my way"

**3.**

Jim dreaded beaming down for what was supposed to be the usual diplomatic crap. Negotiations were not his strong suit, but as captain he was expected to suck it up and set a good example on behalf of the Federation. As they had materialized on the planet Kirk was pleasantly surprised to see a decorated room filled with food and, what looked like -dare he hope-, a fully stocked bar.

"Captain Kirk, welcome. On behalf of my people we would like to thank you for the Federation's time and consideration. We invite you and your crew to join in the festivities."

Jim Kirk, never being one to turn down the hospitality of a well-meaning host, took it upon himself to show the natives how honored he was of their act of kindness.

When they were finally beamed back aboard, Scotty had just enough time to see the smile on the captains face just before his knees buckled and he fell into the arms of Spock who was fully expecting Jim's lapse into unconsciousness.

**4.**

The chime to his door rang but he made no move to get up. Instead, he drained the contents of his glass before abandoning it for the bottle itself. The sound of the chimes finally stopped only to be followed by the swish of the door (to his _private _room) opening.

"What 'chu want Spock?"

"I was concerned when, upon arriving for our scheduled game of chess, you did not respond" he responded. Walking closer to the slumped figure on the bed he noticed the message that was still illuminated on the computer terminal

_We regret to inform you that Mrs. Winona Kirk- _

Spock removed the bottle from Kirks grip and placed it on the adjacent table. Then dutifully spent the remainder of the night listening to tales of his captains childhood and when Jim finally fell asleep Spock tucked him in before joining him in slumber.

**5.**

It wasn't as odd one might think to find the captain in sickbay. In fact the Kirk frequented that particular area of the ship quite often. It was only logical seeing that Kirk and McCoy were, what a large portion of the crew considered, 'bff's'. So it was also logical that, upon discovering both their quarters and the observation deck void of the captain, Spock seek him out in sickbay. The sight that awaited him there though _was_ something that, although he would never admit it, caught him off guard. Jim was currently laying on one of the biobeds, and clinging to the doctor, who was at the moment splayed on top of him.

In a moment of concern and certainly _not _jealousy Spock flew across the room and dislodged the good doctor from Jim, setting him on the floor well away from the occupied bed.

"Thanks Spock. How a man that plastered could have such a strong grip. I'll never understand" he said as he straightened up and righted his Jim-rumpled clothes.

"May I inquire as to how you have ended up in such a compromising position?"

"Well Jim here drank too much again –"

"Spock! Izzat you? Tell Bones I'm fine, I just wanna go to my room and sleep it off …" he stood up, immediately feeling the room turn and grasping the end of the bed, "As soon as the ship stops spinning"

Spock stared at Jim for a moment before responding "Captain in your present state I would advise against movement. Doctor I shall accompany the captain back to his quarters."

If anybody that night saw the Vulcan carrying their captain, bridal style, to his room they never mentioned it

**+1.**

Jim imagined his first birthday aboard the _Enterpris_e to come and go. He thought that if he was lucky some crisis would befall the ship or there would be some adventure to partake in and it would pass unnoticed by the crew, and if he was lucky, himself. Alas that was not to be. Not only did was there no danger or even paperwork to be done (shocking, he knew) the entire crew remembered and decided to throw their captain, as Bones would say, the biggest shindig this side of the alpha quadrant. Even so, never in a million years would he have imagined being accosted by his Vulcan First Officer in the hallway outside of their quarters.

After making his mandatory appearance and finally getting the chance to sneak away, Kirk almost made it into his cabin before he felt the warmer-than-human body of his lover against his back and searching hands wrapping around his body and snaking down towards his pants.

"Spock, are you feeling alright?" Jim asked as he found one of Spock's hands and attempted to dislodge him from his person.

"Of course Cap'in why would you think otherwise?"

"Well, my usually conservative boyfriend has just started groping me in a public hallway" he answered as he finally was able to break free and enter his room. As soon as the door shut he was pushed against it with force and his lips were being messily ravaged by a horny Vulcan. "Spock ... what … are you okay-"

"Jim, shut up"

************

An hour later an extremely satisfied James Kirk turned to face his First Officer, shit-eating grin firmly planted on his face. "So what brought this on?"

"I was told by Doctor McCoy to partake in the festivities and was not aware that I consumed a … rather sizeable portion of a confectionary that while common in human culture is what Vulcan's would consider an intoxicant."

"Are you trying to tell me that my prim and proper Vulcan science officer got drunk at my birthday party from the cake?"

"Essentially, you are correct. Chocolate has been known to stimulate a similar reaction in Vulcan's as alcohol would in humans."

"I'll have to remember that for later use" Jim smiled and snuggled closer to Spock, who wrapped his arms around him. "It could come in handy next time I want to take advantage of you," he yawned and began to drift into unconsciousness.

"Indeed. Happy Birthday Jim"

A/N: My first Star Trek fic ever. I'm so proud of myself, yet so embarrassed at the same time ^//^. Hope it doesn't suck.


End file.
